Okay, so I've really been a lazy slob lately. I blame it on the fact that last week we took off Thursday night and spent the weekend at my parents camping and having fun. Saturday while Mom and Dad were occupied at a blood drive, Ben and I loaded their old stove onto Dad's truck. It's one of those glass top deals with two ovens, so the thing felt like it weighed somewhere around three hundred pounds. Loading it involved using caveman mechanics (think ramp constructed from broken table leaf, piece of old barn wood), grunting, sweating, a little swearing (whoops, my bad-- I thought I was going to be crushed-- and Henry was nowhere within hearing range), and using our primitive brains to figure out the winch strap thingies. We managed to get it secured without too much trouble, got Henry in his booster seat and drove home. Henry was adamant that we were only going home to feed the cat and swap out stoves, that we had to go straight back to Papaw's afterward. We moved the old stove out first, which compared with the new one practically weighed nothing at all. Then I directed Ben as he backed the truck up to the front porch, signaled him to stop with upraised hands, yelled, "Stop. Stop! STOP!" and heard an audible snap when he tapped the porch rail with the tailgate. The rail was knocked a little loose, and there was a crack along the line where the bricks meet the concrete part of the porch, but the porch roof didn't collapse on me. Hurrah, I'm still alive.

So after a long weekend I went home and reaqcuainted my butt with my computer chair. Feels good to be back.

Easter Weekend

Saturday we all went to the Super Target in Apex to see about procuring a few items, namely some vegetables for Ben's moro rice, an Easter Egg dye kit, and some caulk. The veggies were a bust, so we moved on to the egg dye. The entire Easter section had been ransacked by vandals or Visigoths or something; maybe I'm exaggerating a little, but it seemed that all that was left was was half a bag of crushed candy eggs, some peeps a nauseating shade of fuchsia, and a dismembered rabbit carcass. I did, however, find some caulk, so we were able to at least get one thing taken care of. On the way out of the store Henry hung on to the blubber on my waist, singing, "Chubby, chubby, chubby fat."

Thanks a lot, kid. Way to boost my self-esteem.

We drove clear across Raleigh to go to this Hispanic grocery store. Ben found everything he needed and I was able to entertain Henry by telling him what all the dead things in the meat section were. Then we went home and I caulked up the holes in the siding on the back of the house while Ben made his rice. He made it with pigeon peas and aside from the pigeon peas, the rice was good.

Then I boiled up some eggs and Henry helped me dye them. I had about six tablespoons of vinegar left, so we were able to barely coat the bottoms of six bowls. Henry helped me stir food coloring into the vinegar and then ran off to watch TV while I carefully rationed the dye to drizzle over a dozen eggs.

Sunday was busy. Henry was happy because Nee-nee came to church and had fun with a "Barrel of Monkeys" she gave him. The quartet I loosely organized (which included Ben) got to sing their song "Te Necisito Si" (Spanish version of "I need the Every Hour"). Then I got to substitute for Henry's Sunday school class. As I've said before, his regular teachers have my admiration, adoration, and deep pity. There's usually eight or nine kids in his class, but since a bunch of families were out of town, there were only seven kids this time. Having previously witnessed the havoc wreaked by Henry and his two pals during Sharing Time I decided since I had two whole hours with them by myself I'd need a bribe to keep them in line. So I brought a bunch of little bags of M&M's and told the kids they'd get a treat if they were really good. It worked for the most part and I actually got through the lesson without too much trouble. Then I found out we're not supposed to give out food of any kind during Sunday school. Whoops. Then I had to herd all seven crazy kids to closing exercises, during which I had to sit between Henry and his buddies, then herd them all back, which was pretty much like trying to herd dandelion fluff during a hurricane. Wow, no wonder they have to have two adults to a class; one to teach and one to herd.

After I got the festering boiled egg stink out of the house by opening the windows, after we'd eaten dinner, and all the craziness was over and calm had settled at the Tilley household, Henry said, "The Easter Bunny isn't real."

Ben then asked him how he got all the stuff in his Easter basket.

Henry replied that it just appeared.

How?

"The wizard from Lord of the Rings."

Seriously, people.