I Need to Find a Pair of Boy's Size 11 White Dress Shoes

And a gray suit and red bow tie. Henry found out that somewhere in the attic I had packed away my old concert band bow tie. Henry literally bugged me for days to go find it for him so he could dress up like Pee Wee Herman. I kid you not. So last week I braved the mess and started digging through the big box full of shoe boxes which contain various souvenirs saved from my pre-marriage life. It took me a while but I found the bow tie. I honestly can't remember why I saved it, or even how I remembered that I still had it. Nevertheless, there it was. Henry was all excited and wanted to put it on right away. The next day and the day following he wanted to wear it everywhere but I made him wait until he actually had to dress up; i.e., for church. I'm uncertain as to how or why, but he went all day at church without taking it off. I'm not sure if he was feeling extra cool wearing it, or if he simply couldn't figure out how to get it off. At any rate he looked really cute, despite the fact that he forgot a belt and his pants kept slipping and showing off his Spider-man underpants.

I keep thinking one day he'll be all grown up and I'll have run out of things in the attic for him to play with. What a bittersweet day that will be.

Another Test in Patience

Ok, it was supposed to be an eye exam, but Henry finds all kinds of ways to get me riled up. Plus it was four p.m., a time when he really should have been at home making me crazy instead of at the optometrist's. They really ought to come up with something over the counter for moms who're going through the "what's this what's that why why why" phase of five year old boys. I know, they've already got something and it's called booze, but I'm a non-drinker, so there goes that. The million question marathon started early this morning and I got a two hour break while Henry was at joy school, then it started again when I picked him up, quieted a little so he could cram in some lunch, cranked back up when we went to the store, then went into full blast at the optometrist's office.

I believe with all my heart that Henry flunked the vision test at the pediatrician's simply by being Henry. He's like a honey bee, buzzing from one thing to the next, and if the thing he's presented with isn't full of sweet, sweet nectar, he's not giving it the time of day. He plays along at first and then my son, Henry, whose vision is sharp enough to tell me that the B.J.'s sign had a broken b, that Wal-mart was the store with the star on it, tells the chick with the eye chart that everything is fuzzy. Of course, it's fuzzy. Fuzzy means your eyes are bad and you need glasses, which Henry wants desperately. Being a little liar, albeit a cute one, he's also bouncing all over the place, looking everywhere but where he's told. I have to hold his head still so they can used the machine to see how his eyes are focusing, but that was hardly helpful since he kept looking away every time she tried to run the test. Then the optometrist does her thing and I'm thinking to myself what a huge waste of time the trip was. Not a bit surprised when she says he doesn't need glasses.

Henry was disappointed, though. At the the check out counter he whined and insisted that his eyes were bad and he needed glasses, so the clerk gave him some of those plastic rolled-up disposable sunglasses for when you get your eyes dilated. That helped a little. Then another office lady asked him who his favorite basketball team was and because he knows his Dad hates Carolina (Ben's a NC State fan, which by definition means you have to hate UNC), said North Carolina was his favorite. The office lady gave him a little blue basketball.

"Oh, Henry. You're going to make Daddy mad when he sees that."

Henry grins with evil delight.

When we get home he races inside with the ball. "Dad! Look!"

Green Eggs and Shots

Yesterday it was my turn for Joy School again. Since I did a hash job on Tuesday and forgot to do the Green Eggs and Ham story, I threw it in with the other stuff about the joy of trust, etc. Beforehand I warned Henry that we were going to be making green eggs and ham for our Joy School snack. He thought that was pretty cool, but he was dead certain that he hated green eggs and ham and would not be personally sampling any of it. The kids gathered around and watched as I scrambled some eggs with green food coloring and cooked them along with a piece of ham. The ham was one of those little Canadian bacon pieces, but I didn't put any dye on it. Something about green meat makes me shudder, even if it is only dyed. I had to put cheese on the eggs to get Henry to eat any. He insisted that he wasn't touching the ham. For some reason he was convinced that ham was one of the millions of things he hates and will never eat. Not even in a box with a fox on a train in the rain. I served him some anyway, a third of a piece of the little Canadian bacon. I cut a tiny piece off of that and had him try it. It was pretty funny watching his face, because it was obvious he was trying to think up something negative to say as he put it in his mouth (a miracle that he did it, if you ask me) and when he tasted it, a look of pleased surprise, and a slightly guilty amusement because he knew that I knew he'd been plotting to weasel out of eating the rest of it. Then without further ado he popped the rest of the ham in his mouth and ate his green eggs and cheese. Yeah! One more thing Mr. Picky will eat.

Today Henry had his annual visit to the doctor. It being his five year check up, he had four vaccinations waiting for him. Since Henry hasn't had a shot in so long I explained the process, why we have shots and all that. Then I told him the good news: after getting shots you get a treat. Henry decided that he wanted bubble gum. I think I was more nervous about him getting shots than he was, remembering myself getting those shots in the leg when I was a little kid, so I from time to time reminded him of his awaiting treat to keep him positive. I didn't really have to worry about that. He was very chatty with the nurse and doctor and told him all about being five and having "a lot of Legos" and holding a closed fist, "That's zero. Zero is nothing." He had his vision and hearing tested, and while his hearing is fine, I'm going to have to take him to the optometrist to have his vision rechecked because everything on one line was "too little" which means he may have inherited Ben's eyes, even if they are brown like mine and not blue like Ben's. Then Henry got two shots in each leg. Poor guy, he was trying so hard to be tough. Lucky for him the nurse was a pro and had all four shots done in less than two seconds, so all he had time for was a few tears. Then we went to the grocery store and hooked him up with a four-pack of gum, one pack for each shot. On the car ride home he had to sample every flavor, so I had to clean up some sampled gum when we got home. Too bad vegetables don't come wrapped up like candy.

Tonight on the way to grab some dinner at Dairy Queen we passed by Henry's future school.

"Look, Dad! There's my school!"

This is Why I Love North Carolina

Monday we had some more snow. Ben stayed home and we played. The snow wasn't as deep as last time, and it was terrible for making snowmen, but Henry was excited anyway. Henry and I walked to the "dragon" park with some neighbors while Ben stayed home and caught up on some video games. At the park Henry and his friend flirted with some teenage girls and had a big snowball fight. About two hours later Ben called to make sure were were still alive, so we headed back home for lunch and hot chocolate.

The snow lingered for a few days, but then we had a nice warm front come through. I was very grateful for the free heat after freezing at the beginning of the week and opened up all the windows to warm up the house. Today it got up 75 inside. Yesterday we went to Shelly Lake and played. Henry brought along his boomerang and we took turns throwing it but never really got it to fly like it's supposed to; I guess there was too much wind. Towards the end of our walk I ended up carrying Henry's hat, sunglasses and boomerang, and Ben ended up carrying Henry. Then Henry got mad and me because I forgot to bring him a bottle of water, and wanted to know why all the water fountains were turned off. I told him it was because it was still winter time.

"No, it's not!" he said.

I had to remind him that even though it was currently 80 degrees out, it did snow on Monday.

Ah, southern living. There'll probably be an ice storm next week, just in time to kill all the daffodils.